A toddler's orientation!

 

I noticed that Bulbuls acquire their perching position in different ways. The way they balance in different positions is a fascinating sight. 

The last photo of a Bulbul engaged in bird calls, while perched at a tall tree caught my attention. It was tunefully singing! 

I remember parents talking about the anxiety their three years old child creates in them, when they notice him climbing over furniture or windows at home. Some parents need to be willing to accept that as the adventure instinct of a toddler. 

The Bulbul needed a tall tree and the open sky above it to sing!

How can parents create ambience for toddlers to feel encouraged to be creative!

A mother told me once that she would sit on the table with colour pencils and a drawing board on the table, drawing and colouring. She does this to get noticed by her toddler daughter who normally is all over in purposeless activities. When her daughter settled down at the table with her drawing book, the end product surprised the mother. Her daughter usually draws something that she observed while at play. The mother was surprised to notice that her daughter drew some flowers similar to what was at the edge of the garden they visited a week ago. 

A mother created an opportunity for her daughter to draw in an enticing way. 

To get toddlers to be observational and expressive would indeed be easier, if it is done naturally and not under pressure! That was what a mother did wisely and effectively!

As much as possible , it is wise to avoid a confrontational engagement with a toddler. A toddler is at an emotional level of responding and reacting favourably, when he or she is given time and attention in a non threatening way! They are uncomfortable when forced or ordered! They respond better to polite and playful approach as they are still in a super ego state, discovering their identity!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The communicating presence !

 

A senior citizen on his morning walk and a teenager on his morning cycle ride !

Two contrasting scenes in life!

The teenager shall become a senior citizen. The senior citizen above, might have been cycling in his teenage years! 

The reversal of roles in life!

This thought gripped me on account of few events recently. What a child shall become is a vision which parents carry upon their heart and give themselves towards childhood formation. 

A teenager is at the threshold of becoming independent of his or her parents. The parents have time till the teenage years to stay close to their children even to be their confidants. What a teenage child grows up to be later in life is to a large extent influenced by how much children stayed intimate emotionally in their relationship with parents. 

It is for the parents to plan their involvement with their children from pre-school years to condition the growing process of their children. The cognitive, affective and moral formation of children takes place between toddler years and mid school years which is around ten years of age. If parenting involvement is consistent, cordial, and communicative, a child would normally find the parents as their role models. They become behaviourally and temperamentally formed by the parenting influence. 

The 'parenting presence' is more than just a physical presence. It is the communicating presence that matters, for which time spent with children  in an interactive way is the pathway!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The now and the later!

The visibility of the road ends as it turns. The visible sights are fascinating to look at. 

I have come across two groups of parents. The first, who make the childhood experiences of their children at home, pleasant and refreshing. The other group thinks a lot about the unknown future of their children and are engaged in planning, that they are less active to stay fully involved with their growing up children. 

A child is now present with us, whom we can influence to give him  insights and readiness to choose wisely, before he or she moves out of the orbit of our homes.  What he or she inherits from our intimate involvement during the early years of their formations would be the ground, on which he or she stands to choose the pathway in future. 

The 'now' of the child development practices is what  parents can focus on. What is ideal is to look for every opportunity to be proactively involved with a child till he or she reaches the teen age years. Parents will get sometimes marginalised from the active role of parents, once a child is a teenager. Even this would not happen, if the earlier years have been intimate with the children where 'friendship' was the ambience of relationship. 

Befriending a child starts from the toddler years of a child. It is good for parents to keep this as their ambition: let our children find us a their first line of contact for all conversations. This calls for creating openness and comfort for conversations. Do children see us as their well wishers or  as those who are nagging to correct them to conform!

The letting go in child development begins here. We can create the environment for the child to grow up loved and feel wanted. When that happens the response of the children would be wanting to reciprocate. 

The parenting role before the teenage years is to bathe a child in the language of love, affirmation and belonging! Then a child follows the good practices of the home!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Parenting presence !

 

I normally look at flowers to get the front view. Only in the recent years, I also take time to look behind the flowers. 

It is when we look behind the flowers, we get to see how a flower is held firm by its stem. 

A child is rooted in his or her family and is held by his her parents in an embrace of love. 

This embrace of love is expressed in different ways on a day-today basis. Only when, from infancy a child can feel this proximity with parents physically and emotionally, there is a prospect of a child blossoming in the childhood years. 

The parenting presence is an experience parents can offer to children from infancy for them to grow up with a sene of nearness to parents and belonging to the family.

It is necessary to avoid any form interruption to this process. 

The reading times, play times, meal times, bed times, walks and outings, creative activities, sibling times, neighbourhood times and social times are the usual ways which parents can use to give this attachment process essential for the emotional security of children in the preschool years. 

I remember a family with their two pre-school children tell me once, that 'their time is for their children'! I felt moved by that statement. To be able to consider that parent's time is for children is a true mark of parenting instinct and calling!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Alterntives to screen time!

The above  photo of bird feeding at the feeding corner is a daily occurrence in our garden! It took about a month for the birds to feel secure to come and feed, after we started this practice  about a year ago. Now the birds come looking for food in the morning; in case we are late to fill the feeding bowls, they make loud calls from their perch in the courtyard. 

I wonder if parents of pre-school children can take an interest to introduce to them a habit of observing birds. If you leave a bowl of food wherever there is a space to accommodate visiting birds, the birds would come. One has to choose the food depending on the birds who normally visit the site. 

To have an activity of bird watching included in the routine of a pre-school child is desirable, to develop in them observational skills and attentive habit! 

It is almost a desperate need for many parents to look for alternative to screen time that pre-school children are used to now. 

I hope parents would commit themselves to protect pre-school children from prolonged screen time. From a daily habit of three to five hours, we need to reduce screen time to about an hour a week, each time not exceeding fifteen minutes. This ought to be co-watching time,  when one adult sits with the child to create a conversation about the scenes for a conversation later. 

The social, language and interactive skills of a pre-school child is enhanced by playful activities, which enlarge exploration and offer new experiences!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The searching look!

This Imperial green Pigeon is a regular visitor to our garden when the nutmeg fruits are plenty in the trees. Now, that it is not the season for nutmeg fruits, the visit of the pigeon is only occasional. The above is the photo of one in the pair of pigeons. The other was behind, hidden in the foliage. 

The imperial pigeons feed on fruits, nuts and legumes. It's tilted neck indicated that it was intently searching for a nutmeg fruit as it was the tree that pigeons visited during the fruiting season. Its ability to see at a distance is one of its special features. 

The pigeons are often well groomed and have an aesthetic appearance. The green imperial pigeons live in forest areas and come to gardens searching for fruits. 

I remember showing to three pre-school children photos of different species of pigeons, sometime early this year. One question they asked me was, 'who combs them'?  What a searching question. They being used to be assisted by their mother to get ready, including grooming the hair, had a legitimate question when I pointed out the well groomed body of feathers of pigeons. 

I was fascinated by this question. It was a spontaneous question of a pre-school child. I realised that as adults such a question might appear redundant. A pre-school child is not used to have his or her groomed unless someone else did for him or her. These are like other first time questions that a pre-school child might ask. One child saw water pooled in the courtyard during rain. When the rain stopped the courtyard was dry. The pre-school child's question was, 'where did the water go'?

I feel encouraged when two years old or three years old children ask such questions as those questions are linked to their observation, thinking and enquiring process. 

The responsibility of adults towards pre-school children is to expose them to different experiences to stimulate them to observe, think and raise questions. When the adults can stay ready and the lead children to an observant habit, children would evolve to think  and ask questions. That is active learning, which would be natural to what we would like to see pre-school children develop. 

While reading from books or narrating experiences or sharing our observations to them would be necessary, it is of greater importance to turn our pre-school children to be thinkers and enquirers by making them to see, feel and experience. 

That is the way to turn our pre-school children to be original in thought and authentic in pursuit of making associations!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A small start!

The two birds above, King fisher and Magpie robin are common birds in any garden. 

A father told me that his son of three years urges him every morning to look for birds. This started since he used to point out to him birds in the garden even when he was one and half years of age. Now he has become familiar with about thirty different birds and has his own collection of pictures of birds which his father took for him. They are on display in the bulletin board in the dining hall. This boy has a story to talk about them. When they have visitors for a meal, he shares something related to birds during the conversation, pointing to the birds on the board. 

When he gets time, he goes on his own to the book shelf and looks at the bird books. He carries a book of birds with him when he goes for a picnic or outing. His parents bought him a binocular for his third birthday. 

When many parents try to wean their pre-school children from viewing the TV for cartoon and comics, here is a good illustration of a three year old child getting spontaneously occupied with birds and their habitat, and behaviour. His question to his parents is: when will birds come to nest in their garden!

There are different ways that parents can introduce pre-school children to the environment. This boy is also interested in watching seeds sprout in the soil. He is a companion to his mother while she does some kitchen gardening. 

Getting a pre-school child interested in the happenings around the home is a good way of introducing activities that takes them in to different experiences and interests!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)