Promoting attentiveness !

A bird can be seen perched hidden and quiet for several minutes. Their instinct is to fly. But they balance it with still periods. 

Often parents raise a question as to how to sustain the attention of a pre-school child!

Most pre-school children grow up in a distracted home environment. In the earlier years when I grew up, most homes did not have a TV or a land phone. Today, the natural traction is towards the TV viewing in most homes, whenever there is free time. Each adult member of the family would have a mobile phone. The telephone conversations draw the attention of pre-school children. The homes run according to the rhythm of adults. It is only in few homes, I noticed a deliberate plan to make the environment child friendly when children are awake. 

We enhance the attention of pre-school children by engaging them to focus on activities which are good for promoting their understanding, interest, observational skills and interaction. 

Most pre-school children hold their attention, when they are involved in doing some paper craft, like drawing, colouring or make a scrap book; when they are read to from a picture book, when sung to along with their participation in actions, during narration of events in which they participated, or playing with toys to promote imagination and make-believe concepts....! These habits are to be regular and a few times during the day for the child to have a focus on what would generate an interest to hold his attention. 

Attention is a cognitive function. It is when a child is able to process a visual or auditory information, a child gives his attention by choice. 

Many parents who introduce the pre-school child to TV viewing is making a child passive by seeing the entertainment on the TV screen, which involves only transient attention on any scene as each scene is moving fast. We reduce them to be ultra short in attention by introducing them to visual screen in the TV or mobile phone in early childhood. 

Instead if we promote interactive play and promote observational and narrative skills, we promote the loop of comprehension- seeing, hearing, doing, feeling, processing, understanding, memory and recollection! This form of integrative learning does not take place unless parents and a pre-school child engage in joint activities of interest to children!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A child's Corner!

Anna and I placed a root of a tree in our lawn, below which we kept a water bath. Since then we have birds coming for their drink. A small provision, but valuable for some birds who normally live around gardens. 

A small provision which parents can make for their pre-school child is  a Child's Corner at home. 

A child's corner consists of exploratory toys, books, art materials, colour pencils, soft toys for make belief play, and a Bulletin board to display drawings and  pictures which a child might would create. 

Let me a share a video link for parents look and get an idea about a Child's corner at home:

https://youtu.be/1e/ONrsUbwkA

The above video was edited and uploaded by Ms Shalini Shaji when she worked at the Developmental Paediatrics Unit at MOSC Medical College. 

A Child's Corner would help a pre-school child in five different ways:

It creates a physical space for a child to consider it as his own with a child's table and chair along with a cupboard. This gives him or her a sense of belonging. 

The Child's corner becomes an activity corner where a pre-school child spends his or her time. The older siblings also share this corner  for group activities. 

It is a corner to which parents also come to engage a pre-school child in play. The parent-child interaction takes place regularly as parents create time for interactive play.

Most pre-school children require a physical space to come back to and feel comfortable to be surrounded by interests that he or she is fond of. The rest of the house is often designed to meet the utilitarian needs of the family. 

The pre-school children get used to a routine from early childhood to play and work on their own space, which gives them a sense of stewardship. They grow up being responsible to things that they have. 

A Child's Corner is a space where a child expresses his or her identity!

A bird bath is a place a where a bird comes to routinely. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The skill of observation!

For a pre-school child, watching this rose flower can be fascinating because it has shades of pink, drops of water on the petals, it is drooping and appears dissimilar to other flower in the garden. 

The sense of observation is an essential part of pre-school formation. Most children by about three years are ready to capture details of what they see or hear. 

The 'why' questions emerge during the conversations. Sometimes the 'why' questions are without clear answers and appear complex to simplify to the level of understanding of the child. 

A wise mother told me about her daughter who often watched her cook leading her to ask many 'why' questions. When the mother was asked, why their dog was brown in colour, she asked her daughter to point out to all the items in the kitchen with brown colour. That engaged her and made her move about to observe. 

Some children are verbal with their usual style of asking, which can be turned into a new learning experience. Her mother asked her daughter to bring the colour pencil set and scribbling pad and draw lines to find the different shades of brown. Following this she was asked to look around in the bed room for objects with shades of brown colour. 

What the mother sensed about her daughter was a significant observation. Her daughter would develop skills of observation, which was what was appropriate at her age rather than engage in repetitive why questions, at an age when her mind cannot comprehend the answers to all the 'why' questions. 

The difference between observation and perception for a pre-school child is that observation involves association. To perceive that an ambulance is usually white in colour needs an understanding that the  white colour has a symbolic meaning of 'peace'! But she can easily associate the white coloured ambulance with a cross, to be a vehicle meant to carry sick people to the hospital. It is that form of association, which is a prelude to developing perception or comprehension in the later years. 

When the mother read to her daughter about elephants, what struck her daughter was about its trunk. Her next question was, 'why their dog does not have a trunk'? The mother took out the encyclopaedia and showed how each animal has some common parts like eyes, ears, legs, but different parts like trunk, long tail or short tail, large body or small body. That went on to showing her pictures of birds to emphasise that they have wings and only two legs whereas, an elephant or a dog  have four legs. 

The sense of observation is an important pre-school skill, which parents can introduce to their pre-school child to find the similarities and dissimilarities of colour, shape, size or dimensions around them. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Learning from parents !

A pre-school child is a keen observer. From about two years, a child is sensing and feeling the environment. 

The immediate environment of a pre-school child is the ambience of the home created by his or her parents. 

When a child grows up in a home, where his parents relate to each other cordially, harmoniously and regardfully, it becomes an example for his social and reciprocal behaviour. When he hears polite conversations between his parents and watches his parents show respect and regard towards each other and share in the household chores, it impresses upon a child about some foundational values. 

Sometimes we complain about the habit of a pre-school child of demanding rather than asking and open to negotiate. I wonder whether we pause to think that a pre-school child picks up this habit from what he witnessed at home!

It was while watching this pair of Bulbuls restfully perched, I got a glimpse of the comfort level they share to be still ! It arises from a relational intimacy!

If the pre-school children can experience this relational intimacy between his or her parents, it leaves profound impact on a child to grow in trust towards his parents. A child grows in trust, when a pre-school child finds his parents always ready to receive and comfort him! Even when he or she shows an erratic behaviour, it is not threatening, scolding or punishment, which would bring change in a child, but a gentle caring approach to help him to choose another way. 

The pre-school period is a formational season in a child's life. All experiences are first time encounters. The unfamiliarity to a situation unsettles a child. It is when one of the parents explains to a three year old child, how and what to do, while visiting a neighbour's home he or she gets an introduction to the socially acceptable behaviour. 

One responsibility of parents toward their pre-school child is to make every opportunity for introducing the nuances of behaviour education. Many parents end up correcting a pre-school child because he or she was not introduced to the practice of desirable behaviour. 

A pre-school child is an observer, learner and imitator! His formative education in sound behaviour and character is part of the parenting responsibility!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The attachment process!

The rose plant when rooted in the soil gives flowers. It needs attention to grow and becomes its full potential, when allowed to grow by nurture and nutrients. 

A pre-school child is a vivid illustration of this fullness of life! A family offers the ambience, a pre-school child needs to be formed to enter into the journey ahead through the schooling years. 

The first child gets about two years exclusively with his or her parents before the next child arrives. Those two years fulfil some significant parenting roles. 

One parenting role is to make a child feel in the first two years to grow in a sense of attachment. 

The theory of attachment suggests that it can evolve into four different patterns: Secure, Avoidant, Resistant, Disorganised. 

The attachment between the parents and the child in the first two years becomes secure, when the child receives undivided attention. An infant at four months, while crying is calling for attention. If the child has to cry for long,  before being carried and comforted or his or her needs met, receives a message of emotional distance from the care givers. 

It is when such a negative experiences occur incrementally a child avoids seeking for attention. He or she indulges in self pacifying by exploring body parts, holding on to objects that give some pleasure or behaving in a moody manner without wanting to relate or socialise. This avoidant behaviour is not healthy for subsequent psycho-social formation. 

When a toddler has slipped into self absorbed ways, he or she becomes resistant to play, interact and stays detached. The feeding times turn out to be difficult and parents tune in the screen to occupy the child and the child is fed passively. Such children have difficulties to sleep or occupy oneself playing. The crying spells disturb the parents and parents can communicate angrily to the child.  

When such a pattern emerges, the attachment behaviour gets disorganised. The normal attachment process has three phases: primary comfort level with parents or care givers which develop from about six months; by about a year, a child is ready to tolerate others although stranger anxiety persists for most of the second year; and a child is ready for social interaction and can stay away from the care givers for short period of time, when strangers can engage a child  meaningfully.  When a child is not able to go through this process developmentally, the attachment behaviour is disorganised. 

A rose flower is an expression of a well tended rose plant. 

The attachment process is what prepares an infant and toddler to grow into a stable attachment behaviour, which is akin to the good soil that nurtures a rose plant. 

Giving primacy of parenting attention to an infant, till he or she becomes a pre-school child is an investment for his or her future. 

The surrogate parenting is not an option, and it can be detrimental. The latest trend of occupying a child during infancy with screen time is a disservice to a child. He or she is emotionally pre-conditioned to be relational to parents or care givers, and not to the screen. The screen time interrupts the normal pathway of cognitive, behavioural, social and communication functions! The media exposure makes the attachment process disorganised!

An infant or toddler is an asset in the garden of life! Give him or her full attention to make his or her later years full of prospects!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

A father and Mother beside their pre-school child!

I remember a mother mentioning to me about her morning walk with her three years old son, during which her son's main occupation was to look for birds. He heard the bird calls and located the birds. The mother observed that her son was attentive to musical tunes. During the singing  at the prayer  time in thier home, this child was often attentive. She bought a Xylophone for him, which he used to make tunes of different notes.

It was this interest in appreciating different tunes and produce them on the Xylophone which made her consider that their son had a musical ear. He was singing by four and in a choral group at five years and starting on piano lessons at six years. 

This special experience started with  the morning walk, when this boy paid attention to bird calls. 

Now in his teenage years, he is nature lover, gardener, bird watcher, pianist, choral singer, and a class leader supporting his friends in the musical performances in the school. 

All because a mother found time for her son. 

It was his father's turn in the evening to play outdoor games, take him for swimming and read to him children's stories at bed time. His interest in Badminton and Table tennis made him to play these games at school. 

A child blossoms when surrounded by parents who create time and turn their interests into creative exploration!

A home is a formative influence on a child during his or her pre-school years!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A nature walk!

What a child needs at pre-school entry between three and four years is the skill of observation. 

One practical way this skill can be introduced to children from the time they are able to move about in the garden, is to point out different events and movements in nature. 

If we were to look around in the garden during the winter months, one might be able to watch caterpillars and cocoons in plants. In fact the life cycle of a butterfly would be visible to them, much before they would have seen it in pictures in their story books. 

A nature walk for a pre-school child is to be guided by what the child is ready to observe.  Instead of loading information about many things that adults are fond of, it is better to follow the interest of a child. 

I remember a father stopping the walk when a child sat down to watch a caterpillar, which then became the starting point to turn attention to butterflies. I was told that it took a week or so before the child was ready to move away from butterfly to anything else. He spotted seven different types of butterfly in the garden during that week. He even made drawings of them in his scribbling pad. 

To start where the child is interested in,  is a good way to promote a child centred learning activity. 

The pre-school child does not follow a linear path in learning most of the time. His interests and fancies would change. It is not completeness of information that parents ought to focus on, but to sustain the child's interest and pursuit of interest. 

Often parents get occupied with a class room based approach to learning. The class room is syllabus based. Where as a pre-school child is observant. What he observes becomes the focus of advanced learning. The parents can be active to expose him to what he might be interested in. However, a child at pre-school years can be casual, or from only supernal impressions, he or she is often inquisitive and exploratory. The parents are to be his companions in promoting this observation instinct. 

A pre-school child was fascinated by the shapes of wooden blocks he was playing with. His mother helped him to trace the outline of the blocks in his scribbling pad and colour them corresponding to the colours in the block. What a way of associating information! The three dimensional blocks became a unidimensional drawings on a paper. 

A pre-school child is a beginner in his learning experience. It is good for parents to start from where a child is ready to move on! Let a child lead his or her learning journey with parents adding enthusiasm and discovering experiences!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)